Megan Danvers

Wow, has it really been over a year since I last posted on here? Damn. At this point I don’t really know what to say. I set up this website a couple years ago or so because I wanted to build a following for whenever I finally publish a book but given my lack of posting, you can take a wild guess as to how building said following is going.

I wish I could say I’ve been writing a lot lately, but that would be a lie. If anything, I’ve been writing less now than I was when I last posted. Partly the seasonal depression, partly just losing interest in the story I’m currently working on. Don’t get me wrong. I still love the concept. Just the plot feels like its dragging right now and I can’t tell if that’s a result of my seasonal depression creeping in or if I’m just bored with what I have outlined.

This would normally be when I distract myself by writing a side project. Only problem is my side project as of late has been a fanfic which I haven’t fully outlined. And by not fully outlined, I mean I have already written basically every single scene I have outlined thus far. I am not a person who does well without at least some sort of outline so proceeding with that story without having more plotted out is a bit daunting at the moment.

I tried taking a week long break last month to get back into the mood for writing but even when that 1 week lapsed into a week and a half, I still can’t seem to get back into the groove of things. I hope it’s just seasonal depression and that the light therapy my psychiatrist very recently recommended helps. Just ordered it today. We’ll see how well it works.

Now if you’ve read my last post, you might be wondering why I’d need light therapy if my emotional support animal was supposed to help with my depression.

Well, I never got an ESA because my landlord put a bunch of bullshit requirements on me having one that I’m not entirely sure they are legally allowed to require (must be declawed and I have to pay extra rent for the animal) and at first I didn’t have the means to contact a lawyer to inquire about that and nowadays I’m more worried about lacking the funds to take care of myself, let alone another living being. So, no cat for me. Boo.

The good news is that I’ve gotten a lot better at making my mom’s chili recipe since I last posted (I did indeed burn it the first time). I’ve also made pork chops and shrimp scampi, the latter of which I had just yesterday. Yum!

So, cooking has been helpful in my diet, though I still weigh quite a bit. 198 pounds last I checked. I did try the weight management program for almost a year but got frustrated with my lack of progress and when it turned out that moving out meant I lost out on my mom’s Medicaid insurance, I kinda quit the program. I have new insurance now, not Medicaid but still decent. I also got diagnosed with sleep apnea and now use a CPAP machine which has greatly improved my quality of sleep. Further, I had my medication increased a couple months back and while the effects have mellowed out since I first started taking the increased dose, the initial upping did give me a greatly improved mood and productivity.

I wish I could get that back.

Nowadays I’m working on getting my budget under control. When I tell you I started 2023 with a little over $5,000 in savings and now only have $2,000 in my savings account, I am not kidding. Though I greatly wish I was. RIP my poor wallet. Adulting is more expensive than I realized when I first moved out.

I might put writing on hold again until either the light therapy arrives and starts to work or until my ideas stop feeling stale. Maybe try outlining and writing more of the fanfic ideas I have rattling around in my head instead (there are about a half dozen). Or perhaps I could work on that draft 8 rewrite for my backburner project some more.

I still have to outline most of it, but as I don’t plan on changing it too, too much from the initial story I drafted it wouldn’t be too hard to work on it more. Though the more I work on it the more I wonder if I should go ahead and try and query it once draft 8 is done despite being the first in a 5 book series. Not exactly an easy sell to agents and publishers.

If I had more money, I might consider self-publishing it, but alas I have neither the funds nor the marketing skills to succeed in the self-publishing sphere.

Oh well, 26 years old now and still a mess. Fingers crossed I actually get my life together before 30. Maybe I’ll actually get around to setting up a YouTube channel this year now that I have a tripod. Probably a bullet journalling one at first just because that seems less daunting than an authortube or booktube channel. Could evolve into such one day but let’s hope I get the bullet journalling one done first. Peace out, readers!

PS: if you don’t hear from me before the New Year, please comment on this post and tell me to blog something else soon. Please. I don’t want to neglect this site any longer.