Megan Danvers

Hey there, readers!

Not gonna sugarcoat it. The world sucks just as much as it did when I stopped writing on here and I don’t honestly know if I’m going to write on here on a regular basis for a long while but I figured I could write a post just for today because of how my therapy session went today.

Before I get into that, a brief life update.

I got a job at a hotel coffee shop. I bought a bookshelf and just put it together today. I got a new phone last week. I have a therapist now as well as a psychiatrist.

Not much else to say. I did mention it was brief update, didn’t I?

Anyhow, today in therapy my therapist—who had mentioned a couple weeks ago that she thought I might have a form of depression called dysthymia—suggested I use my voice to make a difference in the world. We got on this line of discussion after I mentioned that the world sucks and I don’t know how to improve my worldview. When she suggested using my voice I was internally thinking “what voice” as for a long while now it’s seemed less and less like I have a voice, rather it seeming like when I do post online I’m just talking into the void.

I also thought it was weird that my therapist thought trying to improve the world was a good idea for how to improve my life given that I am not at a strong point in my life at all that trying to change the world is feasible considering changing my life has proven challenge enough. I do see her point of needing to be more optimistic toward what impact I can have in the world but—and maybe this is the depression in me—I have become a bit of a defeatist lately. It’s hard to feel like you can make a difference when you are the only person in your sphere of the world who is of a similar mindset and you feel you have no power over your own life much less the world around you.

I feel like before I can tackle broader issues I first have to tackle my own mental wellbeing and even after doing so that I would need to develop some sort of platform before I can tackle the issues at large. The only problem with that being: I have no idea how to build a platform or even how to speak up about certain topics or even what I would need to focus on.

One way I’ve considered tackling both the platform and mental health issues is by possibly starting a YouTube channel. Reasons why are that: it would allow me to connect to people and not feel so isolated in the world, it could give me a potential second source of income to help me get to my goal of moving out faster, and it would give me a platform of followers whom I could use to help spread awareness but also market my books to—whenever I get them finished and in publishers hands.

The only question standing in my way is what would I make my channel about? I don’t feel qualified to give writing advice and my only other passion besides writing is cartoons which leaves me concerned that I wouldn’t be able to monetize my videos because of copyright laws. I think I could have fun with YouTube but am not sure where to start. If any of you have ideas, I’d love to hear them. Honestly, I doubt anyone is going to read this but we’ll see.

That’s all for now, readers. Thank you for letting me vent. Peace out!